Bush on 9/11You may be surprised to hear it, but the biggest danger facing each and every one of us today isn’t the pressing near for healthcare reform, or a slow and shaky economy, or even those nasty, racist, evil conservative teabagger protesters that are so mean and uncooperative towards President Barack Hussein Obama.

Nope, it’s a bunch of Muslim fanatics based in Asia and Africa that want to kill us and end our very way of life.

We very fortunately narrowly avoided a Christmas Day Massacre thanks only to the ineptness of a would-be, now-phallus-less suicide bomber, despite all the best intentions of Homeland Security officials, passengers, and the like.  But don’t worry; Obama and his top representatives are “on” the case, don’t you know?  The mainstream media is doing all it can to tell us this is the case, notwithstanding the fact that the President might not have heard about the foiled attack until nearly three hours after it happened…and then managed to go back to the gym and golf course for a little rest and recreation.  Surely, there will be a movie about his paralysis to act called Fahrenheit 12/25 soon, right?

But don’t worry again, rather than starting to profile and screen passengers based on their potential risk (the bomber’s name was curiously Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, not Peter Smith) or more carefully focus on threats emerging from Yemen and the African contingent of Al Qaeda, the Transportation Security Administration is going to prevent us all from using laptops or drinking that last bottle of water during the final hour of international flights.

I, for one, feel so much safer now!